The Curse of the Capable
What story keeps you performance-addicted, going all the time, and tiring you out?
It’s that story that’s preventing you from making needed changes in your life.
Are you driving yourself non-stop the way most people do, with unconscious stories that keep you comparing yourself to others and proving yourself so focused on success that you think you don’t have the time or energy to take care of yourself, your body, or your life?
It’s time to ask why. It may be more than being busy, having lots to do, or needing to make more money. It’s probably your story.
Having a story that is not supporting you or what you are up to in the world is “The Curse” of the Capable person. At first, it’s a mystery why you can’t change; eventually, it feels like you’ll never change.
If you want to turn fear into strength, anxiety into action, and go from getting by to feeling free by changing your story, then read this book and discover the 5-step change-your-story process.
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The Curse Of The Capable
If you’re driving yourself non-stop the way most people are, it’s time to ask why. It could be more than being busy or needing to make more money. It could also be your story. This is the crux of what we call the curse of the capable person. If your story is driving you non-stop for the wrong reasons to achieve results that will never come from what you achieve, you are likely suffering from a syndrome that could be ruining your life.
It’s called “Performance Addiction.”
Early in life, we create an internal novel, a fictitious story about ourselves that we write based on what we think is being reflected on us from those around us—as if we are looking at ourselves in a mirror. If the mirrors you are looking into are cracked or inaccurate, you get a distorted view of yourself, much like you would looking in a circus mirror. Thus, you create an inaccurate story about yourself and this story sets the stage for an irrational belief system. A lack of empathy creates an unsupportive internal story, a belief that you’re not quite good enough, which sets the stage for over-achievement to make up for what is secretly missing inside that’s driving you so hard. At first, it’s a mystery that you can’t stop yourself. Eventually, it becomes your curse.
A Performance Lifestyle is the antithesis of the performance addicted life. When you learn how to change your biased story, you can live
a life free of tension and anxiety and full of joy and meaningful achievement.
What is The Curse?
The curse is a mental state where talented people mask their vulnerabilities through their capabilities. We refer to the curse when people are trying very hard in their efforts to achieve and perform to win the respect and love of other people.
What happens when you try your hardest and yet you still can’t attain the healthy, balanced life you long for? What happens when you don’t understand the reasons your life is not satisfying? You feel cursed! You’re disappointed you’re not living the life you thought all your hard work would bring, and you feel run down in the process.
Discover What Achievers
All over the world are realizing
The story you created about yourself early in life, which is part fiction, is having a dramatic impact on your present lifestyle. It’s affecting how you think and live.
The assumption that all capable people in our culture have peace of mind and are satisfied with their life course is commonplace. Is this notion true? Not always. Millions have fallen prey to a belief system that says appearance and status provide the golden road to love and respect. In an attempt to perfect themselves, they are hiding their self-doubt through constant achievement at the cost of losing balance and well-being. They are suffering from being emotionally and physically overwhelmed, exhausted, and fatigued.
The Curse of the Capable examines how a biased view can lead to a fragile sense of self, addictive thinking and behavior, and a seemingly mysterious downward spiral that the majority of people can’t see or untangle.
In “The Curse of the Capable,” you will read about men and women who long for intimacy and strive for perfection in an effort to please those around them. Ultimately, they feel defeated, depleted of energy, and misunderstood; all while feeling obligated to perform for others at all costs. This book addresses the hidden challenge capable people have in taking care of themselves.
Each aspect of this hidden challenge is discussed through the poignant stories of everyday achievers from diverse backgrounds: housewives, lawyers, teachers, contractors, models, trainers, doctors, media personnel, corporate executives, and professional athletes.
The 5-Stage "Change Your Story" Process
1. Uncover Your Story
Uncover the story you wrote with a biased “pen” and determine why it isn’t serving you.
2. Discover the Consequences of Your Story
Learn about the concept of performance addiction, an irrational inaccurate belief system that is hardwired early in life and reinforced by cultural expectations.
3. Acknowledge the Emotional Impact of Your Story
See how the six trials of adulthood-expectations, regrets and unfulfilled dreams, control, fear, intimacy, and community-are amplified by performance addiction and can have a significant effect on your behavior.
4. Recognize How Your Story Distorts Your Thinking
Become keenly aware of the distortions in thinking that result from the story that becomes your “curse.”
5. Change your Story
Tell a real but optimistic-leaning story about you, your situation, or circumstance that improves your self-image, and behavior.
Free Yourself From The Curse
CHANGE YOUR STORY
The Curse of the Capable will guide you in creating a balanced, healthy, high-achieving life, free of the guilt and tension of the past that is driving you crazy. By mastering the skills in this book, you will be able to change your story, remove the curse from your life, develop a resilient sense of self, and open yourself up to ongoing learning without bias or preconceived notions.
Dr. Arthur P. Ciaramicoli
Dr. Arthur P. Ciaramicoli, author of the books The Power of Empathy
and Performance Addiction, has spent the last 30 years studying, treating, and freeing capable people from all walks of life from the challenges that ruin the lives of otherwise intelligent, talented people and will help you balance your success.
John Allen Mollenhauer
John Allen Mollenhauer has spent the last 20 years dealing with the consequences of over achievement and will show you how to get out of the downward spiral and move forward in a position of strength by improving your lifestyle.
It’s all in how you achieve your goals.